


Shades of Blue

by TypicallyUntypical



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypicallyUntypical/pseuds/TypicallyUntypical
Summary: Janus grew up being taught that Soulmates weren't real and the universe was making a mistake shoving people together. After meeting Logan he is pretty sure that's a lie.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70
Collections: Sanders Sides Soulmate September, Untypicals Sanders Sides One Shots





	Shades of Blue

Finding your soulmate at a young age was supposed to mean good luck and good fortune in your relationship. Janus couldn’t believe that was true. He had met Logan when they were in their last year of middle school, being paired together for a science project. The first time he looked into Logan’s eyes, his world exploded with shades of dark blue that reminded Janus of the vast ocean and he should have been happy. Instead, he immediately knew that if his parents found out he would never see Logan again.

Janus’ parents were anti-soulmatists. They didn’t believe in allowing the universe to choose their soulmates for them and decided that not being able to see certain colors was worth it to _‘forge their own destinies’_. It was strange they believed that because their relationship wasn’t normally functional, but maybe that’s just what a relationship was. For a long time, Janus believed that he shouldn’t trust fate. He believed that all relationships would be built on frustration and anger. How could the universe expect you to be with one person when there were millions on the planet. How could it determine that this one person was right for you? And people were so different, there was no way for them to get along all of the time.

Things had changed with Logan. Janus might have told his parents about Logan, wanting to earn their love and acceptance, but two things stopped him. One, Logan was not trying to pressure them into any kind of relationship. He had looked at Janus and the new colors with a curiosity and fascination but had told Janus that this discovery didn’t need to change their relationship. His exact words had been.

_“I am curious about soulmate bonds and about you. Your heterochromia seems to have had some effect on my ability to see two colors.” He had waved off the thought to get back on track, “but it’s important that we are both comfortable, so if you don’t want anything outside of a group partner relationship that is understandable and acceptable.”_

He sounded like he had swallowed a grammar book, and Janus was interested in him, but he was more interested in the second thing that had happened. Janus was still missing color. There were things that still seemed grey that he knew shouldn’t be, the color wheel, that most teachers hung in their classrooms for students to check regarding their soulmates, still had a section of grey where it should be blue. Janus didn’t have just one soulmate, and so he wasn’t willing to out his relationship to Logan just yet.

In fact, it took five years before Janus mentioned meeting his soulmate to his parents. They had no qualms with Janus and Logan dating in high school. They had been supportive, thinking that Janus was breaking the mold of soulmates. In fact, they loved Logan, he was smart and straightforward. They constantly reminded him that Logan could easily be with someone so much better, but Janus knew that Logan wanted him. Nothing his parents said changed that.

Logan and Janus got closer and closer, practically inseparable by the time the two of them graduated high school and they were planning on going to college together. Janus’s parents were so proud of him, and it weighed on him. He hadn’t actually meant to tell his parents, normally he was so careful with his words, but he had been packing for college and his mother had made some comment about how she was glad he was going with Logan so he wouldn’t be tempted to follow his soulmate if he found them.

The words slipped out of Janus’ mouth quietly, “I don’t have to worry about cheating on Logan with Logan.” He had gotten tired of his parents' tirade, because, for everything they had been saying, Logan had been perfect for him. Janus hadn’t even realized he had said it until the silence in the room grew to a tense fog. He quickly turned to look at his mother and the fury in her eyes. He had no time to prepare himself as the slap cracked across his face, sending him tumbling into the metal frame of his bed. He could feel the warm blood dripping down his face and it took all of his strength to not cry.

“I expect you to be gone by the time I come back home. You want to be a filthy soul follower, you can do it alone.” She snarled and Janus stood up, shoving all of his clothes in his suitcase rather than folding them carefully. He was already planning on leaving tomorrow for college, but what was one day earlier? Though college probably wasn’t going to be much of an option for him now, not without his parents' support.

With his face still bleeding, Janus had walked to Logan’s house, just about a mile and a half away, knocking on the door. He wasn’t surprised by the fear and concern that briefly darted across Logan’s face as he saw Janus’ appearance.

“Mind if I stay a day earlier?” His voice was calm despite the pain.

Logan ushered Janus in before shouting for his parents to come help. His mother, a nurse, looked at the blood, and immediately went to get the first aid kit. Janus would never admit it to anyone other than Logan, but that day had been the worst day of his life, and he didn’t know that he would have gotten through it without Logan’s steady presence.

That all felt so long ago, even though it had only been a year. Janus traced the scar on his face before putting on his hat. Logan was working hard to get his degree and Janus was working hard to save up to go back to college one day. Logan’s parents had been nothing but kind, but they couldn’t afford to help him through college, and he wouldn’t ask them to.

He enjoyed his job at a magician for kids parties, he didn’t like working around kids, but they were so easy to trick and fool that was entertaining. Janus had taken to calling himself Deceit, painting snake scales on the scarred side of his face. The kids ate it up, and Janus enjoyed making them challenge the idea that everything that was deceitful was bad. The party that Janus was working today was a young boys party and Janus hoped they weren’t sticking to the gender norm colors of blue. Although he loved seeing the dark blue that reminded him of Logan, he hated each time he saw grey that he knew should be blue. It brought a wave of insecurity about his soulmate finding him now that he was scared and ‘damaged’.

“Hi Kiddo, welcome!” The door had been opened by a handsome male with curled blond hair eyes so beautifully blue, a blue that Janus had never seen before.

A blue that Janus had never seen before.

He froze, unable to tear his eyes away as the man smiled and began to squeal happily. “You- I- We!” He was so excited and Janus fought to control himself.

“I’m sure it is your pleasure, maybe we can continue this conversation after I have performed my set?” He asked and the man nodded, his smile falling a bit as he looked Janus over.

“Your eyes are beautiful,” The words made Janus tense, he wasn’t used to hearing such straightforward praise and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He just nodded and went about setting up to entertain the kids, his eyes occasionally flicking to the man as he performed.

His name was Patton, older brother to the birthday boy Emile. He was good with kids, sweet, kind, gentle, and the only ‘parent’ that Emile still had. When the party was over and everyone had gone home, Janus stayed, quietly helping clean up and attempting to have the conversation in his head before Patton spoke to him. He wanted to have it all planned.

“Hey Kiddo, it’s okay if you don’t like me like that, but I’d like a chance.”

That was not what he was expecting and his face fell into a slight frown. “I have nothing against a handsome man like you. Though, I think you might be a little disappointed in having a snake for a soulmate.”

“You aren’t an actual snake silly.” His voice was soft and gentle, maybe his parents were right about soulmates not being accurate. How could he be with someone so soft and gentle?

“Are you certain?” His sly smile curled into his lips as he leaned against the wall. “You barely know me, sweetheart.”

“I’d like to get to know you.”

That made Janus feel like he was at a loss for words, and he tried hard not to show it.

“Because your eyes sparkle when you get praise from the kiddos, and it’s so cute.”

Sure he enjoyed it when the kids were excited, but was he that desperate for praise that he sought it out from children?

“And your nose crinkles when you are trying to pull them into the mystery of it all.”

Janus prided himself on keeping his emotions close to the vest unless he wanted people to see them, but Patton was reading him like an open book.

“I just wanted to say that I really like what I’ve seen so far, and I think it would be worth getting to know you.”

Janus touched his face where the scar was, a reminder that his mother didn’t believe he was worth her love. “Sure, we can give this a try.” For the second time in his life, the words came out before he had a chance to tailor or temper them. For the second time in his life, there was sudden movement after he spoke words he didn’t mean to speak. It almost brought Janus back to that place, but this time, he was being held close with warm arms and a soft happy squeal. He was being pulled tightly into an embrace of love and warmth. This time he didn’t hold back the tears as he buried his face in Patton’s neck, refusing to hug back but allowing the hug to swallow him. Janus took in a deep breath. He was worth it, and the world shone with such lovely colors to prove his point.


End file.
